There Remains Still More...

This week has wrought my mind, body, and spirit with anxiety and uncertainty...and simultaneously restored a comfort that eventually, all will be well again.
I'm coursing through the end stages of a divorce and I'll be grateful when the final signatures are scribbled out and I can file this experience in the "never-to-be-repeated" section.  Monday I appeared before a judge in a court room full of stout, priggish attorneys...and was humiliated as Honorable What's-His-Name recounted how poorly constructed my final decree was.  Charming.  Why couldn't I possess the fortune of the guy ahead of me who repeated a few lines and was granted permanent separation from his spouse?  He faintly wished me luck as he departed the courtroom...  I had no attorney to defend me, no friend, just me and my blushing face of awkward.  Divorce hearings should come with a voucher for a free drink at the nearest pub.  Why couldn't there be some sort of quickie divorce drive thru?  That would be amazing.  Especially if it came with a free toy.  Note to self:  Investigate possibility.  I had so much weighing on the obliteration of my dissolving marriage...and it wound up being an epic fail.  I managed to at least crawl into my car before I let the sobs break free.
I followed that joyous endeavor with the restructuring of another relationship/friendship...and suffice it to say, Monday was a day to be omitted from the repeat option.
I spent the next three days spiraling.
Regaining control has not been an aesthetically pleasing adventure.  Lots of tears, snot, and two or three screwdrivers over the limit.
Nestled in this weekly experiment of awful was a dash of beauty...in the captivating love of my dearest friends.  By week's end, I acquired a new divorce attorney, a new therapist, a new hair cut, a few renewed friendships, opportunities to pursue foreign missions, and possibly a new apartment (thanks to the frightening car-robbery attempt that also transpired a few nights ago...and freaked me out enough to desire relocation).
I have felt like a flailing fish out of the water in my feeble attempt to regain control of my delicate internal balance. I have much to do, much to consider about the future....and I shall not waste in sighs or drown in sorrow.  There remains still more to hope for, more to see...new endeavors to pursue, empty canvases to fill, and stories to tell.