Warning: This entry contains language that some may consider profane.
Nothing fragments my spirit like the suffering of those I hold closest to my heart. Such great distances separate us and I remain unable to do much to abate their pain. The only thing I can do is...listen, offer counsel, and...pray.
Call me a heretic or blasphemous, but sometimes I find the simple act of prayer to be inadequate. I recognize the healing power of prayer, as well as the opportunity it presents to commune with God. I have never thought of myself as a stereotypical Christian in terms of prayer. My methods of intercession rarely include the phrase, "Dear God," followed by an inordinate amount of please-do-this-for-me lists... It's conversational and abstract. It's contemplative... And it's lacking.
There are aspects of prayer that I deem appalling, and it is in no way related to the act of prayer, but rather its use as Christians' excuse to remain on their asses and do nothing. How convenient it is to simply toss aside a wounded patron with "I'll pray for you..." and never lift a finger. Save your lazy-ass prayers for someone who believes you.
Prayer is physical as much as it is verbal, spiritual, and emotional. It is proactive. It is interactive. Sometimes I wonder if Jesus is listening to this live stream of deacon prayers, thinking..."Shut the fuck up...just get off your ass and hug your brother. Don't tell me about it...get up and actually do it." I think Jesus might be more content with his followers if they were less selfish in their intercessions...and more physical with their implementation. It is one thing to pray that your neighbor's house gets rebuilt after a devastating hurricane, it's another to swing a hammer alongside him. Don't just talk about your faith, your religion, your empty prayers...live them, breathe them, embody them....
I would leap tall buildings, swim oceans, dig a tunnel to the other side of the planet if it meant the brokenness in the hearts of my friends would be reversed... When it comes to healing that which binds their spirits, words simply aren't enough.
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