Last week I took an Enneagram Personality Test. Confession: I had never heard of such test, didn't even know it was a personality test, until I had seen cryptic scores via Twitter and Facebook. So I investigated. You never know when you google a personality test if you're going to end up being compared to a super hero or a jelly of the month.
So if this test was legitimate, it stated that I am a 6w5....Translation....
The Loyalist--Conflicted Between Trust and Distrust
(Personality Type 6)
People of this personality type essentially feel insecure, as though there is nothing quite steady enough to hold onto. At the core of the type Six personality is a kind of fear or anxiety. This anxiety has a very deep source and can manifest in a variety of different styles, making Sixes somewhat difficult to describe and to type. What all Sixes have in common however, is the fear rooted at the center of their personality, which manifests in worrying, and restless imaginings of everything that might go wrong. This tendency makes Sixes gifted at trouble shooting, but also robs the Six of much needed peace of mind and tends to deprive the personality of spontaneity. The essential anxiety at the core of the type Six fixation tends to permeate the personality with a sort of "defensive suspiciousness." Sixes don't trust easily; they are often ambivalent about others, until the person has absolutely proven herself, at which point they are likely to respond with steadfast loyalty. The loyalty of the Six is something of a two edged sword however, as Sixes are sometimes prone to stand by a friend, partner, job or cause even long after it is time to move on.
Sixes are generally looking for something or someone to believe in.
When dealing with fear, some Sixes are basically phobic. Phobic Sixes are generally compliant, affiliative and cooperative.
(I did some minor editing...the description is a bit too wordy.)
The Investigator--Thinkers Who Tend to Withdraw and Observe
(Personality Type 5)
People of this personality type essentially fear that they don't have enough inner strength to face life, so they tend to withdraw, to retreat into the safety and security of the mind where they can mentally prepare for their emergence into the world. Fives feel comfortable and at home in the realm of thought. They are generally intelligent, well read and thoughtful and they frequently become experts in the areas that capture their interest. While they are sometimes scientifically oriented, especially with the Six wing, just as many Fives are drawn to the humanities and it is not at all uncommon for Fives to have artistic inclinations. Fives are often a bit eccentric; they feel little need to alter their beliefs to accommodate majority opinion, and they refuse to compromise their freedom to think just as they please. The problem for Fives is that while they are comfortable in the realm of thought, they are frequently a good deal less comfortable when it comes to dealing with their emotions, the demands of a relationship, or the need to find a place for themselves in the world. Fives tend to be shy, nonintrusive, independent and reluctant to ask for the help that others might well be happy to extend to them.
Fives are sensitive; they don't feel adequately defended against the world. To compensate for their sensitivity, Fives sometimes adopt an attitude of careless indifference or intellectual arrogance, which has the unfortunate consequence of creating distance between themselves and others. Trying to bridge the distance can be difficult for Fives, as they are seldom comfortable with their social skills, but when they do manage it, they are often devoted friends and life long companions.
Fives are usually somewhat restrained when it comes to emotional expression, but they often have stronger feelings than they let on. Few people know what is going on beneath the surface, as Fives have an often exaggerrated need for privacy and a deep seated fear of intrusion. Because of their sensitivity and their fears of inadequacy, Fives fear being overwhelmed, either by the demands of others or by the strength of their own emotions. They sometimes deal with this by developing a minimalistic lifestyle in which they make few demands on others in exchange for few demands being made on them. Other Fives make their peace with the messiness of life and engage it more fully, but they almost always retain their fears that life is somehow going to demand more of them than they can deliver.
Well, I'm just a barrel of awkward :)
I confess, when I read this, my first response was, "Damn....maybe they think I'm the Unabomber." It's hard to embrace personality characteristics that appear more negative than positive. I wonder if I had not endured the experiences that I've had, both good and bad, whether my outcome would still reflect the above. I won't deny the results are keenly accurate. But I like to think there's more to my personality, more love and willingness to accept than these words convey. I'd hate to think that my life is wasted in speculation and fear.
And for the sake of additional insight, I'm an INFP on the Myers-Briggs Personality Test. They seem to get to the gist a little better...
Introversion Tend to be quiet and reserved. They generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances, and they expend energy in social situations
iNtuition Tend to be more abstract than concrete. They focus their attention on the big picture rather than the details, and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities
Feeling Tend to value personal considerations above objective criteria. When making decisions, they often give more weight to social implications than to logic.
Perception Tend to withhold judgment and delay important decisions, preferring to "keep their options open" should circumstances change.
I suppose the entire reason for this self-indulgence was to prove that I'm not profoundly and irrevocably screwed up. That beyond all the cataclysmic data reports, I am still worthy of love and affection in whatever forms it be given.
And I do not intend to use this information as a means of excusing any extreme emotional episodes. I'd rather learn how to better communicate with people, how to love others like myself more effectively....and occasionally better tolerate those with a stark contrast in character traits.
Beyond what any personality test can communicate...we are all created specifically and wonderfully. We are all worthy of receiving and giving love.
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